Cutie J the Incredible
by mudkiplasagna
Summary: Jeanne d'Arc is a school teacher at the E. Crowe High School by day, but by night, she transforms into the superheroine Cutie J! With her trusty blade Bloody Moon at her side, she will cut down evil where it stands and protect her beloved students from danger!
1. Cutie J and the Book of Destiny- Part 1

New York City: High Rise Condo

7:32 AM

A hangover, a dry mouth, and the annoyance of her phone alarm blaring out a familiar tune.

Fly me to the moon,

and let me play among the stars

let me see what spring is like on Jupiter and Mars…

Jeanne yawned loudly as she picked up her phone, tapped the alarm off, then immediately drifted back to sleep, returning to her dream world of swimming in martinis and caviar.

"Jeanne, wake up. You're going to be late." The sensation of something touching, no, shaking, her arm.

"Mmh-" She brought a pillow over her ear, blocking out the noise, and turning on her side to stop her arm shaking. The voice continued to urge her awake, its tone growing more impatient.

"Jeanne, get the hell up!" The other woman tore the pillow from Jeanne's hands, raised it above her head, then slammed it down on the sleep-deprived witch's body as hard as she could.

"Cereza, what are you-" She began to mumble before she was cut off by the pillow slamming into her face this time. "What the fuck are you doing?"

"It's already seven thirty!" Cereza yelled. "You've been late to work what, two times already? Do you really want another run-in with the school board?"

Fuck, she knew Cereza was right, but it was so early and she felt like such a mess. After a groan and a moment of hesitation, she relented. "Ugh, fine, fine. I'm up."

Cereza scoffed. "What on Earth would you do without me?"

Jeanne sat up in bed, stretched her arms above her head and yawned. "I'd probably be able to sleep in for once." And would probably have been fired by now.

She was barely able to drag herself out of bed, but before long she was able to brush her teeth and hair, get a brief shower, and then a bite to eat before she rushed out the door, leaving Cereza with a kiss on the cheek.

New York City - E. Crowe High School

8:02 AM

She may have had to use Lynx Within to beat the excessively slow New York traffic, and she may have caused a couple of accidents along the way, but she managed to get to the school eight minutes before class started. As always, there were a few students who were early and already sitting at their desks.

Her outfit was a simple yet fashionable ensemble consisting of a red and white blouse, red pants, and red heels, as well as her signature red glasses, of course. She had quite the reputation amongst her fellow teachers and students for having a deep liking for the color red. She remembered a conversation she had regarding her attire in the teachers' lounge when she had first started working at the school; I suppose we all have our quirks. If only they knew.

She set her bag down on her chair and began pulling out binders filled with lesson plans and notes, leaving it cracked open to the day's lesson plan, and leaving a stack of graded papers near one of the empty desk corners.

More and more students began pouring in, and as class time officially began, most of the seats had been filled in. She greeted different students as they walked in, and when everyone is seated, she addressed the class as a whole. "Good morning, class. Please get your graded assignments and then open up your textbooks to page one-hundred and eighty-seven."

Jeanne took attendance, went through her lesson plan, handed out another assignment, and then bid her first class of the day farewell. She did this for each subsequent class as well, and the day seemed to be going by in its usual way. That is, until, one of her students walked in and she could see multiple affinities trailing her. What the fuck?! She thought, her mind racing as she watched the plain looking black-haired girl take a seat, the angels practically breathing down the girl's neck.

She went through the lesson plan as usual, but question after question creeped into her mind. Why were there angels following this teenage girl around? What possible explanation could there be?

New York City - E. Crowe High School

3:15 PM

As soon as school was over, she went into a supply closet, entered purgatorio, and then walked out, waiting for the girl whose name was… Kara, if she remembered correctly. There she is- and it looks like her haloed friends are still with her. Jeanne decided to play it safe by following her at a distance until they were in a less-populated area.

She trailed Kara for at least ten minutes before the girl stopped at a bench in a more secluded area flanked by grass and shrubbery. Kara took notebooks from her bag and placed them to the side, then rummaged in her bag, presumably for other supplies.

But Jeanne noticed something peculiar- one of the affinities was reaching for the girl's books, and got its hands on a black leather-covered journal of some sort. The affinity raised it in the air triumphantly. What are those angels doing with a girl's diary? This was simply too strange to ignore.

Jeanne began to strut closer to the affinities, All 4 One already materializing in her hands and on her heels."Hello there, motherfuckers! I hate to show up to the party uninvited, but you've got something that's piqued my interest." She said, her voice projecting loudly enough that it startled Kara, causing her to jump slightly in her seat and look around for the source of the voice.

The angels growled and drew their weapons, pointing them directly at the unintimidated witch. Time seemed to slow down around them. "Tsk, tsk. Your kind never learn, do you? First you harass this poor girl and steal her diary, and then you try threatening me with your silly little toys? Do you have anything to say for yourselves?" Silence. These angels weren't the talkative types- but then again affinities usually weren't.

"That's what I thought!" Jeanne practically roared as she did the splits, stretching her legs out to both sides and dodging the spears and maces which were pointed at her. She did a sweeping breakdance, knocking two of the affinities off of their feet, before she stood back up and kicked the other one directly in the face. Her heel-gun went off, shattering its helmet and sending multiple magically-charged bullets into its head. The angel screamed in agony before it fell and disappeared in a flash of light.

She slammed her heel into the ground, causing one of Madama Styx's massive legs to appear in front of her and stomp on one of the downed angels. She lifted her heel slightly and kicked, sending some dirt into the air in front of her and causing Madama Styx to kick both angels in one sweep, causing them to fly off and explode in a large flash of light, resembling a fireworks display. She held out one hand to the side, catching the journal perfectly without even looking. She could tell upon touching it that the book was demonic in nature, and she quickly flipped through the pages. Strangely, most of the pages were blank, only about 10% of the book was filled with words. Among the last few lines of text were the following, and reading them caused Jeanne a moment of pause.

An Angel shall come into possession of this book.

An Umbra Witch shall come into possession of this book.

The Umbra Witch shall return this book to the Human Girl or face the consequences.

"Miss d'Arc?" Kara called out, obviously very confused, searching for the source of her teacher's voice.

Jeanne scoffed, the sound of her student's voice taking her attention away from the book, giving her little time to examine the rest of its contents. She closed it and hid behind a tree before returning to the human world, her guns disappearing as well. She came out from behind the tree and called to the girl. "Kara, my dear, you have some explaining to do." She walked up to the girl and held the book out in front of her face. "What exactly is this?"

Kara stared at the book for a moment then tilted her head, her expression blank. She simply shrugged, looking up at her teacher, her eyes fearful.

Jeanne put her hands on her hips, still holding onto the book. " Really. You don't know what it is?"

Kara shook her head no, her face pale. She avoided eye contact, her gaze pointed at a tree behind Jeanne.

"Hm." Jeanne straightened, following the girl's gaze to the tree behind her, before turning back to the girl. "So I guess you wouldn't mind if I took it home then?"

The girl's face became even more devoid of color in that instant. "N-No." Jeanne could tell there was something dreadfully wrong. Something seemed to be holding the girl back from saying...something.

"Well, if you say so. See you in class tomorrow, Kara." She turned on her heel and began to walk away from the girl.

When her teacher was already several meters away, Kara croaked out, "Miss d'Arc! Wait!" Jeanne stopped in her tracks and glanced behind her, a faint smile creeping on her lips. Got you.

"It… It's mine. May I have it back?" The girl asked, her voice quiet, looking up at the Witch.

"Of course you can. If you explain to me what it is."

"I- I can't do that." Kara shook her head, a tear falling down her cheek.

"And why might that be?" Jeanne asked, clearly not buying it.

The girl began to get frustrated now, her cheeks slightly flushed. "I just can't!" Her voice burst out at a raised volume.

"Listen. If you don't tell me why I should give it back then I'm obviously not going to."

Kara was holding her breath, desperately wanting to say something. When Jeanne shook her head and turned around again, Kara had no choice. "Because- because if I tell you, they'll come for me!" She said, then immediately broke out into a fit of sobs, clearly stressed.

"What?" Jeanne blinked then lifted the girl's chin to look up at her. "What did you say? Who will come for you?"

Kara shook her head, the tears pouring out of her eyes now. "It's too late," The girl replied through sniffles and sobs, defeated. "They'll be here soon."

"I'm not going to let anything harm you, understand? I promise that whoever they are will die before they lay a finger on you." She said, her facial expression and tone of voice were both serious and calm, and it had an effect on Kara; She began to calm down too. Until the book began to quake in Jeanne's hands and it was forced open, flying into the air. Jeanne watched, her neck craned, as a black cloud began to slither from the pages and then condensed into a gigantic, demonic snake-like form. Its body was tightly coiled but Jeanne could tell that this thing was easily the size of multiple trains, length-wise.

"Fuck!" Jeanne shouted. "Run, Kara!" The girl screamed and did as she was told, abandoning her school supplies on the bench. The snake demon's gaze followed the girl and it seemed intent on chasing after her, but Jeanne stepped out in front of it. "You're fighting me, you oversized worm!" The snake hissed angrily in response, its flaming tongue flailing around its mouth.

Jeanne's hair began to shorten, receding back to her neck, before forming the shape of a white, feline mask, as well as an Umbran Battle Uniform underneath her everyday school teacher attire. She reached out in front of her and a blade seemingly made of pure red light materialized in her hand.

And with that, the heroic Cutie J launched into action, aiming her trusty blade Bloody Moon straight at the demonic snake!


	2. Cutie J and the Book of Destiny- Part 2

_NYC - Outside of E. Crowe High School_

 _4:39 PM_

Jeanne leapt into the air, and the snake demon opened its mouth, ready to swallow her whole. Jeanne deftly dodged and landed on top of its head. She stabbed Bloody Moon into the demon's scale-armored skin, and ran down the length of its body as it violently thrashed around, tearing a giant, fire-bleeding wound into its flesh. As the demon screeched in agony, Jeanne kicked off of the creature, her gun heels firing and sending her rocketing back towards the ground.

"Care to explain why on earth Paradiso would be sending its angels to collect an artifact guarded by a twat as weak as you?" She practically spat on the demon's pathetic form as she spoke. "Surely this book can't be _that_ important."

"Foolish witch… You know not of that which you speak…" The demon seethed in anger. "I am the guardian of the Book of Destiny. Its word is unchangeable, the fate which it predicts is absolute."

"The fate which it predicts…?" Jeanne pondered its words. "You're fucking with me aren't you? You're just wasting my time." She aimed a gun-heel at its face and fired a few rounds, charged with a little extra magic, into its flesh.

The demon simply laughed. "You should give the book another read…" A twisted grin formed on the demon's already twisted face, showing rows and rows of uncanny, human-like teeth. "Your fate has already been sealed." It slithered closer to Jeanne, hissing quietly.

Jeanne scoffed and kicked the snake in the face, sending it crashing into a nearby tree. "It seems you _are_ fucking with me." Then, she noticed hundreds of smaller snakes beginning to slither out of its open wound, leaving behind an empty, shrivelled husk.

The snake's laugh continued, this time multiplied by the number of smaller snakes, all of them giggling in perfect unison. They threw themselves at Jeanne at mach speeds, and she chopped them with Bloody Moon as best she could, although a few slipped through the cracks because of the sheer number of them. Her phone began ringing in her pocket. She picked up her phone, continuing to slash at the army of snakes flying at her with one hand. "Hello?"

A familiar voice answered back. "Jeanne, dear, I assume you're running late for a good reason." It was Cereza. Shit! They had reserved dinner for 5:00 on the dot, and she had totally forgotten.

"Ah yes, well… you know. I'm having a bit of a demon-worm hold up. I'll be there shortly, okay?"

If Cereza was surprised, there was no hint of it in her voice. "Will you be needing a hand?"

"Cereza, I have this under control." She noticed one of the snakes chewing on her hair, and she screamed in reaction, "Hey, you little dick-shaped shit!" She promptly brushed it off of her shoulder and stomped on it until it was a puddle of demon goo.

"Well alright dear, just be sure to be _fashionably_ late, if you have to be late at all. Talk to you later." _Beep._ Sighing at the sound of the call being ended, she slipped the phone back into her pocket.

She skewered a couple of snakes on her blade and then jumped back, beginning a summoning dance. "Oxix Raclir!" A swirl of hair raced from her head and into a portal, and Gomorrah's distinctly draconic form appeared behind her. Gomorrah let out a roar before scooping most of the remaining snakes into its mouth. "Looks like this book will have to make do without its guardian for a while. I'm afraid I'm going to have to cut this short, as I have a 'hot date' to get to." She walked over to where the book was lying on the ground, near two injured, powerless snakes writhing in pain, using their last remaining energy to try and guard it. "Pathetic!" She yelled, smacking them away from it. She picked up the book, and then swung herself around to make sure Gomorrah finished the job.

The final snake let out a painful scream as it was ground between Gomorrah's hideous teeth. "You… What you've done… Will have… dire consequences…"

Jeanne rolled her eyes at the demon's final words, the last snake disappearing down her pet dragon's gullet. Gomorrah let out one final triumphant screech before it was unsummoned, disappearing back into the portal. Jeanne's hair lengthened again, and her umbran battle uniform disappeared from under her everyday wear.

"Now, where is the girl hiding?" Jeanne asked nobody in particular. She found Kara rather quickly, as once she saw it was safe the girl ran out from behind a bush and hugged her, sobbing.

"I was- I was so scared!" She yelled.

"Ugh- You're getting tears all over my pants!" Jeanne exclaimed, gently shaking the girl off of her.

"Cutie J is...- I mean.. You're Cutie J? All this time you were…" She struggled to finish that thought, a sob stopping her words.. "Th-thank you for saving me…" Kara managed to say between heavy, frightened breaths.

"Don't mention it. Really, don't. Not a word about this to anyone, understand?" Jeanne replied, bending down to look at Kara over her glasses while she kept the book secure under one arm. Kara nodded in response. "Good. Now then, let's get you home. Your parents must be worried sick."

Kara nodded, gathering up her school supplies and placing them in her backpack before following closely behind Jeanne and giving her directions to where she lived.

 _NYC- Corson Restaurant_

 _5:05 PM_

Using a combination of Witch Time and Lynx Within, Jeanne raced through town.. At one point she stopped at her condo to drop off her clothes, exchanging them for a red dress which shimmered as its fabric caught the light. Then, she quickly resumed her route.

When she reached her destination she flung herself into the air, spinning like a cannonball before landing in her human form in the restaurant's courtyard, near a table where Cereza was waiting for her.

A smile crossed Cereza's lips, but she did not look up from the menu in her hands. "I see that you still haven't forgotten how to make an entrance. Good."

Jeanne sat in the chair opposite Cereza, and made sure nobody was looking before she returned to the human world. "Well of course. You know me, I can't help but dazzle my fans at every given opportunity."

They enjoyed their fancy dinner together, treated to a violin accompaniment with their cuisine, and after a few hours headed back home to settle down for the night.

 _NYC - High Rise Condo_

 _10:04 PM_

Jeanne had situated herself at the dining table, grading the papers that had been handed in earlier in the day. She took a sip of the martini she had poured for herself and moved to grade the next paper. However, she glanced over at the demonic book she had placed on the table, and remembering the demon's words from earlier, she reached for the book and opened it, continuing to read past the point she had gotten to before.

 _The Umbra Witch shall defeat the guardian of this book._

 _A terrible fate shall befall those closest to the Umbra Witch._

Reading the last lines in the book caused her heart to nearly jump out of her chest. Had it always said that? Could the words have changed? She recalled that she didn't read all of them earlier.

She set the book down and wandered to the bedroom, feeling a little on edge. She opened the door a crack and saw Cereza curled up in bed. Her mind put somewhat at ease, she closed the papers in her grade book and put it in her bag before joining Cereza. She would discuss this with her in the morning, but for now she silently resolved to never allow that prophecy to come to pass.


End file.
